You Never Know What Lies Behind Ones Steely Mask
by MrsWolfGirl
Summary: Hermione seeks comfort in the one she never thought she would
1. Detention Turns Sinister

This is set in a confusing time the end of 6th year start of 7th Voldermort is strong but hasn't really made any action yet he's planning and sending his death eaters on raids to instill fear, some of the characters may seem a bit out of character a time but i'm just trying to show different sides to them, Hermione seems to recover fast you'll know what i'm on about when you've read but i'm playing on her to have a relapse how she gets to having one i'm not sure yet let me know if you have any ideas or constructive criticism it would be much appreciated.

* * *

You never know What Lies Behind Ones Steely Mask

"Turn to page 107 all the instructions you need are there, you may start" ordered Snape lazily

20 minutes into the lesson his door burst open the class gobsmacked to see a pale, tired, teary eyed Hermione

"Detention Miss Granger, tonight, seven o clock" she merely nodded, sealing way the tears for later, as she settled next to Harry and Ron

"Are you okay?" the whispered in synchronization

"Yeah" she said arranging her features as close to a smile as she could. Feeling Snape's eyes on her the whole time.

"Hermione…"

"I said I'm fine" she snapped immediately feeling remorseful

"We'll talk later" suggested Harry and as soon as these 3 words were out of his mouth she began planning ways to avoid them.

She felt a light hand on her arm from Harry to tell her the lesson was over as she had completely zoned out and flinched violently away from him, hurrying out the room before anyone could stop and question her.

At dinner it was the same "Hey Hermione" was all they said and she started mumbling about going to the library and hurried off staying in the deepest corner until her detention with Snape, which she ended up being 10 minutes late for.

* * *

"You're late" he demanded and once again she started rambling about homework and the library

"Miss Granger, would you mind telling me what is going on, first you are 20 minutes late my lesson, looking ill and like you are about to burst into tears, and then secondly you are 10 minutes to my detention and when I point this out to you, you start rambling, not even attempting to give me even a half coherent answer."

She dropped her head, opening her mouth but no sound came out, a silent tear dropping onto her lap.

"Nothing" she managed to choke out before her voice gave her away

"You may fool Potter but there's no way you can avoid this, what happened to you?" his voice serious as a hand reached out to her, flinching so violently Snape was surprised she didn't have a heart attack. Arms wrapped around her legs which were curled up at her chest as if trying to hold herself together… to protect herself.

Realisation suddenly hit Snape and spread across his face like wildfire

"You got raped didn't you?" His voice full of sorrow, as Hermione burst in to tears managing to choke out an incoherent 'yes' and nod her head which was buried against her elbow as if to hide her face

"Here drink this it will help" handing her a calming draught and vanishing the empty bottle before kneeling next to the chair Hermione was curled in

"Miss Gran… Hermione" his voice soft as he said her name "I understand this will be difficult… but you have to tell me what happened, I need to know so I can help you" his hand soothing her by stroking her head

"Can't you go in my mind?"

"I could but it will make it so you were back there, so much more real"

This time she reached out a trembling hand and took his in her own

"Please Professor" voice begging, eyes pleading, face tear stained "I… I can't… please"

He nodded his head solemnly "Ready?" She nodded her head and tightened her grip on his hand as he delved into her mind

* * *

She was sat in her room reading when there were several loud bangs from downstairs, seizing her wand; she got to the bottom of her stairs, greeted by 2 jets of blindingly green light which collided into her parents chests they died protecting her and they fell limply to the floor before the hooded Death eater.

"Run, get help, the order, anyone" her brain screamed but seeing her parents there on the floor, hearing the death eaters laugh it drove her over the edge all her pain and anger bursting out in wave of energy, 4 of the 8 were still standing how is that possible? Before she knew it her wand was half way across the room and a bruising grip closed on her wrists pinning them against the wall above her she couldn't move his hot body was crushing her there one of his legs between hers preventing her from moving, she was completely at his mercy "Dolohov, Karkaroff go on to the next raid take those with you" he ordered looking towards the fellow death eaters son the floor "Yaxley stay with me, make yourself comfortable in there, I'll call you if need"

"So Miss Granger, Draco's told me all about you" and with these 9 words the mask fell away to reveal Lucius Malfoy. Grey eyes full of lust. Pulling her hair hard angling her head so he could kiss her hungrily, "Relax you'll enjoy it, I promise" he smirked holding her hands in place with magic freeing his hands so he could undo her shirt and roam her body as he feasted on the skin at her chest, his hands sliding along the top of her jeans resting on the button, Hermione struggling against the holds.

"You taste delicious" his tongue tracing her lips as he kissed her more deeply than before, using magic to remove her trousers, sliding his hand inside her skimpy underwear, his lips at her ear as the quite moan she'd been trying to hold in escaped her lips "There's a good girl" he whispered tears streaming down her face.

"Please… leave me alone"

"Sorry, your to irresistible" ripping of her underwear and thrusting into her. Soon she wasn't able to hold in her moans. Coming inside of her he pulled out cast a quick cleaning spell and magical dressed her, but she felt dirty and horrible collapsing into a fit of tears seconds after they apparated away the sobs racking through her whole body.


	2. Comfort In The Malicious One

Next thing she knew she was back in the potions room, a pained expression on Snape's face as she broke down into another fit of tears. He mumbled the necessary spells to make sure was okay, while trying to sooth her by rubbing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. Thank God he had left no permanent physical damage, but something like that leaves scars that you can't always see "Your safe now, no one can hurt you" Finally she calmed down slightly

"Let me see your wrists" ordered Severus fury in his eyes, he took her hands gently in his own sliding her shirt sleeves up slightly seeing she wanted to pull away "Your okay, trust me"

Hermione nodded "Sorry"

"Don't be, it's completely understandable" he pulled her sleeves up to see rather nasty bruises, muttering a healing spell the disappeared "They might still be a little bit sore but that's the best I can do"

He realised how tired she looked for the first time "You haven't been sleeping have you?" His hand still clasped tightly in hers as if it was her only life line left.

"No" voice hoarse from all the crying

"Nightmares?" 'of course it was nightmares, what else would it be, Bedbugs?' he snapped at himself inwardly, she nodded

"Dreamless sleep potions?"

"They don't help" Snape raised an eyebrow quizzically "You're not best friends with Harry Potter without learning some helpful tricks"

"Hmm, I suppose so" Snape frowned "Well I'm sorry but the only thing that can help you is time and being with the ones you feel safest around"

"I feel safest when…"

"When what?"

"It doesn't matter professor" she blushed

"Miss Granger, I want to help you but how am I suppose to do that with you giving me half sentences?"

"I feel safest when I'm with you professor, I always have ever since you protected us gains Remus as a werewolf in 3rd year"

"That is all you needed to say, I'm sure something can be arranged" he smirked as she blushed

"Thank you professor" she mumbled staring at their hands which were still entwined,

He just nodded "It is not a problem"

Snape wrote the whole story out to Dumbledore and got a reply shortly afterwards it red "You know it would not usually be aloud but the circumstance are not normal and because I trust you both I have already gave you a spare room" entering the storage cupboard Severus pressed the hidden button 'Senile old man, what is he on about?" thought Snape but to his surprise there was a extra room next to his Hermione's belongings already inside.

Returning to fetch her he showed her the newt's tails box which when pressed opened the door to his quarters. Pointing to the rooms "Your room, My room bathrooms are on suites, kitchen, study, personal potions rooms and duelling area and the living room here" to her surprise it was quite light and open for a dungeon and not the dark dingy hole she thought it would be.

"Thank you, but I'm really tired is it alright if I head to bed?"

"Yes, you don't have to ask, but do inform me"

"Yes sir" she smiled

"Severus"

"Excuse me?"

"My names Severus" he smirked

"Goodnight Severus" she smiled

"Goodnight Miss Granger"

"Hermione" she called over her shoulder as she closed the door. Making Severus smirk and chuckle quietly. She leant against the door and had a genuine smile on her face for the first time in a long while. Pulling off her uniform she slid on her shirt she slept in crawling into bed and sinking into sleep almost immediately.

* * *

'Oh no please' she begged to herself as the nightmare of that day came flooding back, parents falling at her feet, Lucius eyes taunting, rough hands roaming, bruising, how dirty she felt, how scared she was.

"Hermione… Hermione" came a soft worried voice as the uncontrollable sobs wracked through her body, struggling for breath she was gasping but couldn't do anything

"Hey, calm down, your safe, your okay" curling up into a ball she wept into his chest as he lied next to her giving her a hug 'of course he would deny doing it in the morning, how unsnapeish it would be if he didn't" calming down she managed to choke out "Stay with me… please… I'm scared" in a very small voice, she felt weird seeking comfort in Snape the one who had made people's life's hell, but it also seemed strangely right, him of all people would understand.

"I'm not going anywhere, try to sleep, remember, you control your own dreams, don't let him beat you, that's what he wants, don't give it to him, fight, you're a strong girl, I know you can do this, I have faith in you, faith that will never die" he would deny saying that to even though it was true. He never thought he would be laid next to Hermione Granger comforting her because of Lucius Malfoy but then again he never thought he'd be a spy. She had always seemed different from all of the other Gryffindors 'yeah she was an insufferable know it all, but that could lead to some rather intelligent conversations' She drifted to sleep and he found himself following, because they were laid on their sides one off her legs was on top of his but he couldn't bring himself to slid his away and fell asleep a hand entwined with hers.


	3. CrushCrushCrush

Hermione awoke first, her throat sore, but the sight of how peaceful Severus looked made her reluctant to wake him, surprised to see he had kept their hands entwined after she had fell asleep, but confused at the same time. He woke minutes later after the best sleep he had, had in a while

"Morning" Hermione smiled

"Morning" he mumbled still half asleep, he realised their hands were still entwined "Miss Granger, why are you holding my hand?" he asked trying to blame her

"Wouldn't the more appropriate question be why didn't you let go off my hand after I fell asleep?" she chuckled as he was lost for words getting up, shirt dangerously high, his eyes lingering on her a second longer than usual as she pulled on her jeans

"Because I didn't want to wake you, how was your sleep for that matter well the second half?" changing the subject 'Severus your being too nice' he mentally kicked himself, she flinched as the nightmare came back

"It was the best it has been in a while thanks how about yours?"

"The very same" he said getting up and noticed her take in his appearance for the first time noticing he was topless and had black pyjama bottoms on, his muscled chest and faint six back noticing he had no chest or back hair. 'He hadn't thought of putting a shirt on as he heard her scream' Hermione raised an eyebrow but made no comment secretly admiring him.

"Shut up" his eyes narrowed

"I didn't say anything" she said though it came out muffled as she began cleaning her teeth

"You were thinking it though"

She swilled her mouth "Thinking what Severus?" hands on her hips looking slightly annoyed

"I'm going to make breakfast" he spat

"More like order it" she growled back

"Look Hermione, don't start, I'm not in the mood"

"Well I'm sorry you can't admit you were nice for once in your life" she said slamming the bathroom door in his emerging 10 minutes later hair washed and dried with a blouse and jeans on completely ignoring Snape as she sat in the chair opposite him facing the fire, and started reading Hogwarts a history for the 15th million time.

"Miss Granger"

"Yes Professor"

"Breakfast is on the side"

"I'm not hungry thanks"

"You need to eat"

"If you haven't noticed I've barely been eating since I had my run in with Lucius" she spat the name "and that's not about to change"

"I have noticed actually" he admitted causing Hermione to look up from her book "You are more quite in class to, you snap at Potter and Weasley more, you look tired and like you are about to cry all the time, it's worrying" he admitted 'screw being horrible' he thought 'she needs you' a tear running down her cheek

"I'm sorry Severus, I didn't mean to snap I've just been feeling so emotional lately, the lack of sleep doesn't help either, you know?"

"Yeah I know" his eyes pained "Why didn't you tell anyone earlier?"

"I don't want people to treat me differently, I can't stand to look at people and see the pitying look in their eyes, it's horrible, I just want to be able to move on in my life, but I feel like that's never going to happen"

He smiled the weak smile he hardly ever showed "It will, trust me, even though each day holds so much pain and… you feel like you're alone, you never are, no matter what there is always someone there, sometimes you feel like curling up in a ball and crying your eyes out but you know it won't help, you block out the world and just want to be alone, push away the ones you once held close, say things you would of never even of thought before, cry yourself to sleep, you have to try and get up and you barely survive the day, you just wanted to go back to how it was" Hermione's tears were coming faster now and Severus got up and knelt next to her chair and took her hand "You feel like you've be punched in the heart and there's a hole that will never heal, the world's never seemed so big and you've never felt so alone and you'd give anything just to see them again"

"Thank you" she wept into the sofa

"For what?"

"Showing me how much you understand, for being nice, for being you"

"It's okay, nothing to thank me for, I'd appreciate if it could be kept between us though"

"Yeah of course, so do I"

"You sure you won't eat anything?"

"Yeah"

"Will you at least try?" he asked stroking her head she nodded

Getting up and buttering some toast, taking a bite "Better?"

"Yes now I think you should go talk to Harry" she spun round

"No that's not going to happen he has enough to worry about"

"Hermione you're his friend he would want to know"

"No, don't you say anything to him or anyone either, I'll tell him one day, just not now" her eyes murderous

"Hermione"

"I've noticed you only use my first name when you're annoyed or comforting me, why is that?"

"I don't know Miss Granger" he growled

"I know you want to yell at me just do it"

"I don't want to yell at you" he sighed

"What do you want to do then?" she questioned

"Just consider talking to him"

"I'll go to the great hall now see if I can find him" she sighed and left 


	4. Two Hearts Collide

She saw him and Ron sat opposite each other heads close together planning

"Hey guys"

"Hey" they said returning to their whispering she looked to the staff table to see Snape whispering to Dumbledore then urged Hermione with his eyes and left

"Can I talk to you guys?"

"Yeah we'll go out there" Ron said gesturing to the entrance hall

"Are you okay?"

"Fine" Harry replied

"What's up"

"Why do you care?" he snapped

"Because you're my friends and I care about you"

"Really? Well do you care about the future of our world?"

"Yeah of course I do, what are you on about?"

"I think it's obvious"

"No I don't think it is" growled Hermione

"You obviously don't want to fight this war anymore Hermione" Harry said disappointed

"MY PARENTS GOT MURDERED IN FRONT OF ME AND THEN LUCIUS MALFOY RAPED ME" she shouted "SO I'M SORRY FOR NOT BEING MYSELF" several heads turned to look at her as she basically ran down the hallway tears of anger streaming down her face Severus saw her and quietly followed

* * *

"Hermione what's wrong?" he asked as she jumped onto her bed and buried her head in her pillow

"Harry said I obviously don't want to fight this war, I lost it, I shouted it at him, everyone heard, but I don't care, how could he say that" she wept Severus' hand placed comfortingly at the small of her back

"He's stressed; he doesn't know what he's saying he'll come around"

"You said I should tell him, you didn't mention it would end like this"

"I said you should tell him, I didn't know how he would react but if I was him I would want to know, wouldn't you?" she nodded

"Why are you crying then?"

"Because I'm angry"

"Hermione, you do amaze me, you really do, Harry Potter would be doomed without you" he given up being horrible around her and had just started being honest but as soon as it was more than the two of them in a room he went back to his snide, malicious self

She rolled over sat up and crossed her legs facing him who was sat the same and he pulled his hand back "Why are you nice to me?"

"Not nice, honest"

"I think it's nice"

"Yes well if anyone finds out I'll know who to murder" his brow furrowed causing Hermione to chuckle

"What?"

"Nothing" she lied smirking

"You know lying isn't a good habit" he smirked back

"No it's not but it's a handy skill to have"

"Yes I suppose, but I much prefer it when people tell the truth"

"Who doesn't? Some people say it's better to tell a small lie then to deliver a devastating truth but if it was that bad you would want to know wouldn't you? If it will change your life that much, I know I would"

"It's always hard but its better you just have to find the right moment"

"You know what?"

"What?"

"I prefer this Snape"

"So do I"

"Why do you act differently then?"

"Because I have to" he said standing up

"Don't hide from me Severus, I can tell your going to"

"You don't know anything" he growled

"I know more than you think" she growled back standing she wasn't as tall as him so she had to look up slightly

He walked towards her and she didn't move partly because of the fact there was a wall behind her. He brushed her jaw with the back of his hand and she shivered as the memories came flooding back, he knew they would and used that too his advantage. Pushing them away she looked him dead in the eye not backing down at all

"You don't scare me" her cheek muscle clenched

"You want to know why I'm hiding from you."

"Yes"

"Because I'm scared you won't like what you find"

"Severus, I know what you've done and I don't care because I've got a lot to say to you, I noticed your eyes are always glued to me, keeping me here, and it makes no sense at all. Why can't I look way, why every time you look at me, talk to me, brush past me I turn to jelly, why I miss you when I'm not with you, why I'm lost for words, why it hurts when you make your little snide comments and it never used to, why I feel like nothing else in the world matters as long as I've got you, so, please, hold me when I'm here, Love me when I'm wrong, hug me when I'm scared, I don't want to lose you" Hermione was shocked that she had just admitted that she loved her potions master "I sorry Professor, I…" and she was cut off as his lips were on hers gentle, but passionate, she hadn't expected her reaction as her arms wrapped round his neck and got tangled in his hair and his wrapped round her waist pulling her close, they both pulled back to catch their breath.

"I didn't know you had it in you" he chuckled

"That's the first time I've wanted to be kissed like that, with Ron it kind of just happened" she admitted blushing as they split apart

"Well I'm glad you wanted it"

"I'm sorry I didn't expect to react like that"

"Shh…" he said placing a finger against her lips gently

"Sorry" she mumbled against it looking into his eyes

"Hermione…"

"Sorry"

"If you say sorry more one more time, I swear…"

"Sorry, I mean… I want you" she admitted blushing he kissed her hungrily unlike Lucius he was still gentle, his body pushing her closer against the wall

"Wait…" she sighed

"I thought you wanted this?"

"No, don't get me wrong I do, but I've never done this before. I just need time to process everything and you're going to hate me for saying this but I'm sorry"

"Hermione, I could never hate you no matter how much you unneedingly apologize." He smirked pecking her on the lips

"Oh no!"

"What?" he asked freezing

"I completely forgot about that essay you set us it's in for tomorrow"

"I'll let you off"

"No!" she exclaimed hitting his arm "You can't treat me any differently 1. How suspicious would that be and 2. I want to know I have earned my grades"

"Did you just hit me?"

"Yes I did get over it"

"Excuse me Miss Granger" slightly annoyed and shocked

"If I start now I should be able to get it done by dinner leaving time to practice my duelling which you can help me with" she listed off walking past him as arms wrapped around her waist "Would you mind telling me what you are going on about?" he whispered into her ear as he kissed down her neck

"Umm… I would but… your rather distracting" she laughed breathlessly

His breath hot against her neck and her back hands stroking the small of her stomach gently unlike Lucius. Nothing about this man was like Lucius. She pulled away physically shaking her head so she could concentrate "That's unfair"

He just chuckled "Life's not fair, you should know that by now, your how old 16?"

"17" She corrected in a matter of fact tone

* * *

Knuckling down she managed to get here essay done before dinner and was sat cuddled up to Snape on the sofa head heavy on his chest

"You're tired aren't you?" he said and she nodded

"Go to sleep then"

"I don't want to because I know what I'll see when I do"

"Nothing will hurt you, I promise"

"Will you stay with me?" she asked

"Yes, if you want me to" he said taking her hand, she pulled her jeans off because she already had her pj top on Snape pulled his shirt off over his head and settled next to her spooning her he kissed her head "Sweet Dreams"

* * *

**PLEASE R&R TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK AND WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN NEXT NO HATING THOUGH PLEASE :) THANKS**


	5. Has Harry Forgotten Those He Loved

She woke in the middle of the night crying her eyes out into Severus' chest he wrapped his arms round her. As her body recognised the warmth from his body and his familiar scent she slowly calmed down, until she was silently sobbing into his chest. "Do you want to talk about it?" he whispered softly

She nodded her head "I don't think I can though"

"You let me know when you can no matter when or where" kissing her hair

"Severus I'm not going to be able to sleep so I'll leave you so you can sleep" she said getting up and grabbing a blanket which she wrapped around herself, leaving she curled up on the sofa in front of the smouldering fire. Staring into the depths she was surprised when strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her in tight so her head was resting on his legs.

"You are a silly girl if you think I'm going to ever leave you alone especially when you are upset" running his hand through her hair soothing her

"Severus…"

"Yes"

"Never leave me" she whispered

"I won't" he whispered he would only say the 3 words she wanted to hear when he knew it was the right then and only then would he give her his whole heart. "Now try to sleep, even if you feel you cannot" She laid there listening to his breathing and heart beat, it says a lot when you can sit in silence for someone for mere minutes it says even more when you can embrace someone silently for the rest of the night.

* * *

The sun rose slowly casting a soft light across them. Hermione woke from a very uneasy sleep that she had drifted into an hour before, several times Severus had awoken her because she was screaming, and he was worried, very worried. After breakfast he confronted her

"Hermione, you can't keep on like this, you have to tell Dumbledore he can help you"

"No, I am not telling him anything, what you choose to tell him is your chose, but what I choose to tell him is mine" she could see the pain in his eyes "Severus, I'm sorry, it will just drag up the memories and I don't want to and can't do that. You are all I need and you always will be all I need"

"You scream out there names, you cry, you beg and that's just in your sleep, the light in your eyes is gone Hermione and I am worried, I feel so helpless"

"You're doing enough by just staying with me, Severus I promise you are doing more than you know; I don't feel so empty when I'm with you. Anyway Dumbledore knows"

"What makes you think that?"

"The way he looks at me I felt him in my mind, he… pities me" Severus got up and walked over to her leaning down he pecked her on the lips "He's just worried"

Hermione was determined to make him drop the subject, distract him somehow. She slid her hands up his bare chest and kissed him while standing up, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting them at the small of her back he pulled her close but separated their lips "Hermione, don't try and distract me it won't work"

"I won't try I will" she smirked and kissed him deeply

"I refuse to take your virginity because you are trying to distract me" he growled and she sighed defeated and collapsed onto the armchair. "Hermione…"

"Severus No"

"You don't even know what I was going to say"

"No I don't but I have a rough idea" she growled and went into her room pulling on her school skirt. Pulling off her night shirt as Severus approached the door he let out a small sigh and wrapped his arms around her waist smirking to himself as he saw the goose bumps appear on her neck even though his breath was hot. "Severus…"

"Yes"

"I… I need to get ready" She chuckled as he kissed her neck and pulled away handing her, her shirt

"I never thought you would be helping me get dressed, but then again I never thought…"

"Never thought what?"

"It doesn't matter" she blushed, 'oh my God I just nearly told him I loved him'

"Tie" he said dangling it in front of her

"Thank you" she smiled and pecked him on the lips she pulled away but got pulled back in by her tie

"You know, I've never really like these things" smirked Severus "But I think I'm beginning to"

"I agree" she smirked as he pecked her on the lips and his lips travelled along her jaw and down her neck, breathe making goose bumps wherever it touched her skin and she sighed in contentment.

"Today try to concentrate in my lesson" he smirked

"I do usually"

"Sometimes you day dream" he smirked

"Oh God…" she whispered 'hoping he hadn't looked in her mind, knowing full well what he would have seen

"Next time, think rougher, now go to breakfast" she began to protest "You'll be fine; I'll be at the staff table and will step in if things start to get out of hand"

"…Okay, don't be surprised if I'm sat by myself though" his hand came up and caressed her cheek "Trust me on this one" kissed her lips and she turned away hands dropping to his side

"See you in potions Professor"

"Goodbye Miss Granger"

* * *

Hermione entered the dinner hall keeping her head down and sat in the first empty space she saw on the Gryffindor bench, grabbing a piece of toast and placed it on her plate, pulling out Hogwarts: A History. 'Keep your head down Hermione, don't make eye contact'

"Where's Potter and Weasley Granger?" leered Malfoy's voice 'ignore him'

"Oi Mudblood Im talking to you" he growled and Hermione slid her wand out

"Sorry Malfoy but you're mistaking me for someone who gives a damn if you're talking to me or not because I couldn't care less about you or your sick deranged family" she growled her eyes deadly and he shrunk back slightly as she stood before returning to his full height

Malfoy pulled his wand out "HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY FAMILY LIKE THAT YOU FILTHY LITTLE"

"Mudblood" finished Hermione "Get a new line"

"Leave her alone Malfoy" boomed Harry's voice causing a few heads to turn

"Ah Potter come to join the fun and how lovely you brought Weasley along to"

"Stupefy" thought Hermione and Malfoy flew across the Slytherin table and into the wall sliding to the floor

"Miss Granger my office now" growled Snape who turned to examine Malfoy

"Hermione we just wanted to say we are sorry about the other day we just miss you, we want you back" said Harry

"Okay"

"Is that it okay?" questioned Ron looking warily at Snape who was examining Malfoy still

"You can't expect me to forgive you straight away, how could you even think that Harry"

"What do you expect; you turned your back on us"

"I WOULD NEVER TURN MY BACK ON YOU NO MATTER WHAT, I PROMISED YOU THAT, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT LOST FAITH IN ME, ALL BECAUSE YOU WERE SCARED" she yelled feeling the tears coming

"I'M SORRY FOR NOT WANTING TO DIE HERMIONE"

"YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE HARRY, DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER CEDRIC, MY PARENTS, YOUR PARENTS, DO YOU EVEN CARE?"

"MISS GRANGER I SAID MY OFFICE NOW" Yelled Snape from behind her

"Next time, don't even bother" she growled and grabbed her bag, flinging it over her shoulder she pushed past them.

* * *

**please R&R constructive criticism is welcome but no done right hating please**


	6. H Loses Her V And D Makes S Suffer

Storming down her hallway looking so angry even Voldermort would think twice before attacking her, she stopped and paced in front of Snape's office and he looked furious as he rounded the corner from the hospital wing.

"In" he growled as he unlocked the door

"Sit" he ordered as he rounded the desk chucking his over coat over the back of his chair and rolling up his sleeves "What do you think you are doing!"

"I'M NOT GOING TO STAND THERE AND TAKE HIS CRAP!" she growled

"5 points for the use of expressive language, 50 for hexing a potter and another 50 for giving Malfoy what he deserves"

"Wait…what?" she asked confused

"I obviously have to take them all away now but just so you know I would let you keep them if I could so 150 points from Gryffindor"

"150!"

"I can't let you have the same amount you started with, plus you need to be punished"

"Urgh" she growled jumping up and pacing not even notice Snape flick his wand at the door so it locked and silenced. He grabbed her wrist to stop her. "Hermione…"

"Professor" she spat and he pushed her against the desk to get her attention

"Hermione…" he growled slightly this time his hand sliding up to her cheek forcing her to look in his eyes 'this is what she trying to avoid knowing she would melt at his gaze' he felt her instantly relax a little

"Severus… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap, but every time I look into those grey lifeless eyes it brings back all the anger, the regret, the sorrow…" a tear streaming down her cheek the after effects of the anger.

He pulled her close and pressed his lips to her hair, "Im not going to lie it's never going to stop hurting Hermione, but in time, It will get easy to deal with, I know you get the days when you just want to curl up and block the whole world out but you can't you have to keep trying, they wouldn't want you to give up would they? And they certainly wouldn't want you to sink as low as them, love conquers all and you shall see them again on day, that I promise you"

Hermione pulled away and kissed him passionately

"Your still angry aren't you?" he chuckled and she nodded as she slid her hands up his shirt and pulled him in kissing her he started to walk her backwards into the store room hands roaming her lips parted from him and his tongue traced her bottom lip earning a slight moan from Hermione. "Imagine what the rest can do" he chuckled in her ear as he playfully kissed and nipped down her throat while reaching for the hidden button. As the door slid open she pulled him back to her lips, unbuttoning his shirt, and pulling him towards her bedroom.

"Not a chance we are going to mine" he chuckled as she slid his shirt off and he started unbuttoning hers, undoing it much faster than she had with his, pushing her through his door, and up against a bed post sliding a hand up her skirt.

"Severus…" she whispered as he kissed down her body, feasting on the flesh in all the right ways and places. "Please…"

"Please what?" he smirked as her hands wound in his hair

"Do something…"

Pushing her on the bed he pulled her skirt off and quickly rid himself of his trousers, their underwear followed close behind. His hands could work wonders but he stopped just before she reached her limit, teasing her.

"I hate you sometimes" she growled lust thick in her voice

"Well I'm glad it's only sometimes or this would be a very love-hate relationship… Ready?" she nodded in response "This will hurt, I'm sorry" he said and pushed into her, she winced in pain "Are you okay"

"Yes" she whispered breathlessly and at that he slowly began pushing in and out of her getting faster as they moaned in unison.

"Holy Crap!" she yelled as he pushed her over the edge of her control but he continued until he was in the same state as she was panting and pulling out and rolling to the side, covering them with the quilt, she curled up to him.

"Ouch"

"What?"

"The dark… Voldermort's calling me, I have to go" he said and they both stood pulling on their clothes.

"Come back in one piece please"

"I will, I promise" he said kissing her like it was the first and the last time, they broke apart and he pressed his forehead against hers

"I love you" he smiled "To the edges of the furthest universe"

"I love you to" she choked out over the lump in her throat and just like that he was gone leaving herself to occupy her over active mind.

"Severus… you took your time"

"Sorry, I was in the shower My Lord" he bowed

"Hmmm… I don't usually call you here in school hours but I'm disappointed in you" he hissed

'No, no, no this isn't good' "Why my Lord, I have done nothing wrong?"

"Draco here disagrees; he believes you have been neglecting your duty and I agree, you have not given us one useful piece of information in the past month, I am merciful Severusss, but even the most merciful men run out of patience… Crucio" he hissed

Snape collapsed to the floor screaming in agony, he had not had time to prepare himself, to relax, his muscles convulsed, cutting his head on a sharp rock as he collided with the floor, feeling the warm stickiness of his blood run down his cheek.

"Get up!" and he did as he was told, summoning the little strength he had left "Crucio" this timed the pain seemed so much worse, screaming, hands balling up his own nails used against him as they cut into his palms.

"Up!" he was order panting, he barely managed to push himself up, he wanted to beg for a release from this hell be he had promised himself and Hermione he would go back. "Take off your shirt" hands trembling he slid it off his shoulders muscles protesting profusely.

"Malfoy, Yaxley restrain him" cold hands wrapped around his arms bruisingly, the others pressed against the back of his shoulders jerking his arms backwards, his knees got kicked out and he was knelt before the man he hated so much, completely at his mercy.

It looked like he was floating as he approached him and backhand slapped him, the riddle family ring slicing his cheek and lip. With a crushing kick to his ribs he lurched forward coughing up blood. A snake like had seized his face and forced him to look into Voldermort's eyes "Don't disappoint me again, sectumsepra" he growled a hot agonising blade of magic cutting his ribs right down to the bone "Get out of my sight" and he didn't need to be told twice seizing his shirt while shooting Draco a murderous glare before apparating away.

* * *

Hermione heard his arrival and knew it couldn't be good when he stumbled against the desk, preparing herself for the worst she still got a shock when she saw the true extent of his injuries His was covered in blood and mud, paler than ever before. Managing to send a patronus to Madam Pomfrey and grabbed a towel pressing it the cut on his ribs which was the worst of them all.

"Severus… Severus, stay awake, I need you, we all need you" she begged tears streaming down her face.

"Hermione, you are by far the brightest witch of all time, but your also the nicest and most beautiful person anyone could wish for and I'm so happy I have you, I love you and I always will no matter what, you are the light in my darkness, nothing can be that bad now I've got you, remember that promise you made me, that you'd never give up no matter what, it's time for that promise to come into action" he smiled weakly

"I love you so much, but we are not saying goodbye, promise me you won't give up"

"I'm sorry" he smiled bringing his bloodied hand up to her cheek as Madam Pomfrey, Dumbledore and Lupin burst in.

Dumbledore's frail but strong arms pulled her away and handed her to Remus who restrained her when Albus and Poppy worked over him, summoning him a bed to take him to the hospital wing, Hermione had given up fighting and had resorted to crying hysterically into Lupin's chest

"I'm not sure if he's going to make it or not Albus" whispered Poppy grimly who was looking at Hermione gravely "I hope he does, for all our sake, it will destroy her if he doesn't"

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_ It's been four days and Severus still hasn't awoken, I heard Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore talking, she doesn't seem to think he has a chance but Dumbledore has more faith, I'm not sure if that's good or not because he always asks to much of Harry but maybe this is different, I just want him back I love him and my world is empty without him. I miss Harry and Ron to it's times like these when I realise how much I need them I should have just told them straight away instead of shouting it at them, they've been asking for me but Dumbledore said she is not available at the moment and said nothing more, I can't tell them about Severus yet and I won't, at least not until after graduations, earlier if I have no other chose. I'm going to ask Severus what he thinks I should do, if he ever awakes that is. Goodbye until Next Time._

Hermione still hadn't left his side, her hand clasped tightly around his bandaged one, she had barely slept and hadn't ate at all.

"Don't you think we should get her to eat?" asked Remus worriedly

"There's no point my dear boy, I've seen the love that plagues her heart, the only way she is going to move is if he dies or we use force and she will undoubtedly put up one hell of a fight, let her be with the one she loves"

"He won't know whether she's there or not" argued Minerva worried about her favourite student who was like a daughter to her.

"He will, one's who love each other as deeply as they do can sense each other's presence, she talks to him sometimes, I fear she is the only thing keeping him going and if we take her away he will undoubtedly die" as he said this Hermione leant down and kissed his forehead, whispering something in his ear a tear rolling down her cheek.

"What did she say?"

"I believe she said my world is empty without you, please come back"

* * *

**Same as before please R&R constructive criticism is welcome but no hating thank you for all reading this far :)**


	7. H's World Is Full Once More

Snape's eyes slowly opened later that night to see a pale, haggard looking Hermione with her legs curled up next to her eyes closed but not sleeping, her head resting against the back of her chair looking towards the ceiling.

"Her…Hermione" he mumbled weakly her eyes snapped open

"Severus" she smiled weakly "You came back"

"I can't let you have an empty world now can I?" he chuckled and instantly regretted it hand shooting to his ribs. "Get Poppy please" he choked out, Hermione sent her a patronus not leaving his side.

"Miss Granger when was the last time you ate and or slept?" he said raising a hand to cup her cheek but pulled it back as he flinched in pain

"Ate my breakfast with you, and slept I wouldn't call it sleeping I would call it barely reaching a state of unconsciousness still aware of everything around me" she stated as Poppy came in tying her dressing gown up "Severus! Your wake!"

"Yes, well done for stating the obvious"

Hermione's hand flinched towards his shoulder

"I mean…"

"It's quite alright dear you're bound to be grouchy, Anyway what's the problem?"

"Pain" he said glancing at Hermione apologetically and squeezing her hand gently.

"Where about?"

"My head and ribs is the most, then my throat and everywhere else" his voice rough

"I need to have a look" stated Madam Pomfrey "Miss Granger you may want to leave"

"I'm perfectly alright here thanks" her vooice sharper then she meant it to be

"Okay dear" she smiled nervously and began peeling back the gauze on his head to reveal a nasty cut, mumbling a few spells there appeared to be no change "How does that feel?"

"Better, my head doesn't feel like it's going to explode now"

"Good, now the ribs" she said and he sat up slowly wincing in pain

Hermione noticed for the first time he was still topless but his ribs were heavily bandaged. Poppy slowly began to unwrap them and Hermione had to look away at the sight, they were black and blue, and his ribs were falling unevenly were some where broken and others were not a huge gash running slightly diagonal across the left side as soon as she took the pressure of it began bleeding again.

"Are you sure you don't want to leave Miss Granger?" asked Madam Pomfrey

"I'm fine" she said between gritted teeth forcing herself to look at him again and squeeze his hand reassuringly. Madam Pomfrey managed to stop the bleeding and fix most of his ribs, a few still had cracks in though but she couldn't do anything about the bruises, which the worst of would take at least a month or two to go down.

"Okay Severus, this is the deal, I'll let you go as long as you don't over exert yourself, or your be straight back in here and not leaving until your perfectly well, deal?"

"Yes Poppy, you have yourself a deal" he sighed slowly swinging his legs over the side of his bed and pushing himself up

"Oh and a word of warning you will not be able to wear your usual tight clothes as it will be rather uncomfortable and painful, so I brought you some shirts, black of course" she chuckled handing him a bag

"Um… thank you, um, hang on a minute" he nodded and stepped closer to Hermione bringing his hands up to her cheeks and pulling her in for a kiss soft and gentle, slowly growing more passionate until Madam Pomfrey cleared her throat

"Sorry Madam" blushed Hermione

"It's quite alright dear" she chuckled as she watched her help Severus put on his shirt, he winced in pain.

"Sorry" apologized Hermione

"It's okay, it wasn't your fault" his voice filled with pain

"Are you sure there is nothing you can do about the pain?" pleaded Hermione

"I'm sure there is nothing strong enough and plus this way he won't work to hard because if he does that means it hurts" as she said this Snape frowned his hands struggling to do his top up. Hermione gently brushed them away and did it up for him, leaving his top two buttons un done, he shot her a weak smile before turning to Madam Pomfrey "So you are using my own pain against me?"

"Yes"

"Humph" he scoffed "I really don't have to energy to argue with you, goodbye"

"Goodbye Severus, Make sure Miss Granger here eats something and sleeps before she's the one in the Hospital bed"

"Why didn't you make her eat when she was here?" he growled

"She refused to" and at the Snape rounded on Hermione

"Why would you do that?"

"We are not talking about this now"

"We are talking about it"

"I'm not getting into an argument, I didn't eat because I couldn't end of"

"For now" he growled under his breath causing Hermione to sigh

"Whatever Sev… Professor"

* * *

**I'M NOT TO SURE ABOUT THIS CHAPTER IT WAS MORE TO JUST GET SEVERUS ON HIS FEET AGAIN AND I COULD THINK OF NO OTHER WAY TO DO IT SORRY. PLEASE R&R SORRY FOR THE DISAPPOINTING CHAPTER HOPEFULLY THE NEXT ONES WILL BE BETTER**


	8. L sees H once again but S to the rescue

"I need to go do my rounds will you be okay?" she asked

"Yes I'll be fine" Snape snapped looking up from the papers he was marking, he had a lot of work to catch up on

"Very well then" she growled

"Hermione, you know I didn't mean it"

"Do I, goodbye Severus" she sighed and he went to kiss her but she turned her head so it landed on her cheek

"I'm… I'm sorry" he forced out

"Are you Severus? I've done so much for you and you haven't even said thank you once, I've ran around for you doing every little job you couldn't, I'm exhausted, I'm falling behind in class and I'm falling out with all my friends, all because of you, yes I love you Severus, but I don't know how much more I can take" and with that she left patrolling from the great hall to the top of the astronomy tower, around all the court yards and the space in between even stopping off to check the room of requirement and no one was in sight so she started to head back to the Dungeons when she heard voices 'For God sake who's out now I just want to go to bed' she sighed when a hand closed around her mouth muffling her scream "Hello Hermione" Smirked Lucius Malfoy "Now, in a minute I'm going to take away my hand and you'll do exactly as I say, scream and I will make it so much worse for you okay?"

She nodded a tear spilling over from the gathering in her eye

"There's a good girl" he smirked as he took away his hand. Hermione tried to run but he grabbed her hand and shoved her against the wall "Did I tell you to move?" he growled and Hermione shook her head "I warned you"

"Please… please leave me alone" she begged in a small voice

"I don't think I will"

"Please"

"You shouldn't have moved" he whispered in her ear as he brushed his finger tips along her cheek and down her neck, his lips brushed hers ever so slightly before he pressed his lips tightly to hers, hands roaming

"Lucius, I think that's enough of that" came Severus voice "Miss Granger my office now, Lucius" Snape acknowledged before turning on his heel and trailing after Hermione

Slamming the dungeon door behind them both

"I don't know what to say Hermione"

"How about sorry for everything I've put you through, sorry for everything that's ever happened to you, sorry for Malfoy considering you as his play thing, I trusted you, you were the only one that I could let touch me because I knew you wouldn't hurt me, with everyone else even if they just brushed me I wanted to throw up, every time a see Draco I can't even look him in the eye without wanting to hurt him for something his father did, and I'm not a violent person" she shouted

"I'M SORRY HERMIONE" he yelled at her "IF I COULD TAKE IT ALL BACK I WOULD, IF I COULD STOP MYSELF FROM LOVING YOU I WOULD IF IT STOPPED YOU PAIN BUT I CAN'T, I'M NOT AN OPEN PERSON BUT YOU CHANGED ME AT LEAST YOU CHANGED ME AROUND YOU AND THAT SAYS A LOT I DON'T TRUST EASILY BUT WITH YOU I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE IF I TRUSTED YOU OR NOT IT JUST HAPPENED, IF I COULD END THIS AND SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU I WOULD BUT IT'S NOT THAT EASY" tears gathering in his eyes 'why am I getting so damn emotional' he thought to himself "GOD DAMN IT HERMIONE I LOVE YOU" 'oh that's why' he shocked her and himself with the passion in his voice

"I…"

"You don't have to say anything" he growled entering his room and slamming the door taking his shirt off and laying on his bed attempting to sleep. His door creaked open

"Severus…" Hermione's voice came from the door, it sounded like she'd been crying "Be like that then" and with that the door shut and she left not stopping walking until she got to the lake. An hour or two later footsteps came from behind her "You know you shouldn't come out by yourself at night, you shouldn't be out at all" she ignored him 'stop playing the bloody teacher' his arms rounded her waist and pulled her close her back to his chest he planted a kiss on her neck and took a deep breath...

* * *

**PLEASE R&R WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HAPPEN NEXT WHAT DO YOU WANT HIM TO SAY? MARRY ME? WE AREN'T WORKING OUT? OR SOMETHING DIFFERENT ALL TOGETHER PLEASE HELP ME OUT HERE GUYS CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IS GOOD AS ALWAYS BUT NO PLAIN OUT HATING PLEASE :)**


	9. Soon Cannot Come Soon Enough

"Not even a year has gone since we've been together but I am so proud that you are mine, you are the light in my darkness, you may never know how important you are to me or how much I care for you, but you are and you will always be. Bear in mind that I couldn't afford to lose someone I've learned to care about so much, and for that reason I at least want to know. Will you Hermione Jean Granger be mine forever?"

"Yes" she whispered leaning her head against his chest "But just not now"

"I know my love, I know" Snape whispered into her hair as he kissed her head, the thought that they may never live long enough to walk down the aisle was in the back of both of their minds.

"It's the holiday in 2 days, after that im going to live in headquarters, will you come and visit? Only if you aren't busy" Hermione blushed as they walked back to the castle together Snape quickly took her hand squeezing it reassuringly "Of course I will" before letting go of it.

"I hate having to hide… us I mean"

"Soon we won't have to; we'll just have to grab every opportunity until then"

**SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPLOADED AND THAT ITS SO SHORT WHEN I FINALLY DID BUT I'VE HAD THE BIGGEST WRITERS BLOCK EVER PLEASE GIVE ME SOME IDEAS IF YOU WANT MORE AND I'LL BE HAPPY TO CONSIDER THEM :) **


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